Lessons Learned from Gossip Girl: Teaching

You are a 25-year-old teacher working your first semester at a prestigious private school on the Upper East Side. Here are some guidelines for things you should probably NOT do if you want to keep your job:

1. Complain about how entitled and annoying your students are to other students.

2. Let students call you by your first name.

3. Meet male students after hours at coffee shops and whatnot, flirting with them about how you have “no friends in the city.” Um, you have no friends because you are in your mid-twenties and flirt with teenagers. IT’S WEIRD.

4. After turning in a student to the headmistress for something totally legitimate, tell her best friend that you “hope that we can still be friends.” She’s seventeen and you’re her teacher! Make some friends your own age, lady!

5. After a potentially career-ruining rumor about your affair with a male student appears on the Internet, MEET WITH SAID STUDENT OFF-CAMPUS. AT NIGHT. AND SAY FLIRTATIOUS THINGS TO HIM LIKE “OH CALL ME IN FIVE YEARS.”

6. Sleep with teenagers.

Ms. Carr sucks.

Lessons Learned from Gossip Girl: Turtlenecks

I was looking for a screencap to better illustrate the point I wanted to make in this entry, but could not find one.  But if you saw Monday’s (excellent) episode of Gossip Girl, you will know what I am talking about.

I have always been a fan of Rufus Humphrey.  In fact, I’d say that Rufus is my favorite Humphrey.  I’ve always rooted for Rufus and Lily’s relationship, and I did not even roll my eyes too heavily at his “Being a father is what I AM” speech this Monday night.  That’s how much I like Rufus.  (The Rufus-Lily child better not be a current Gossip Girl character.)

HOWEVER, the turtleneck Rufus was sporting on Monday night was a GIGANTIC NO!  Here is what I learned from Rufus’s turtleneck:

1. Beige turtlenecks make one look pudgy, even if they are not at all. (Matthew Settle is no doubt very handsome and lean and if it made him look pudgy, then the rest of us should stay far, far away from these offending sartorial items.)

2. If one must wear a beige turtleneck, do NOT wear said turtleneck with bangs brushed forward.  This will make a person’s face look squished together.

3. Likable television characters might be a tad less likable in episodes in which they are clad in beige turtleneck sweaters.  I am not certain if this is a result of the turtleneck itself or simply a coincidence, but the correlation cannot be denied.

Let’s hope we never see that thing again.

Life Lessons Learned from Gossip Girl

Every once in awhile, a series comes along that is not only frothy, pulpy fun, but is actually, you know, good.  When Gossip Girl premiered on the CW in 2007, I knew right away that I would have to tune in.  Since the days of Beverly Hills 90210,  I have been a connoisseur of the teen soap.  Dawson’s Creek?  Seen every episode.  The O.C.?  It made me cry. (More than once.)  I mean, I have a picture of Logan Echolls from Veronica Mars hanging on my refrigerator.  I can’t get enough of this stuff.

Gossip Girl surprised me in that it was actually better than I thought it would be.  It’s smart, funny, slick, and current.  The story arcs are well-crafted and have good pay-off.  The acting (which, let’s face it, can sometimes leave something to be desired in the teen soap genre – this means you, Van Der Beek) is above average.  Even the parents have good storylines and do not just serve as a stop gap a la Jim and Cindy Walsh.  It’s good.

In honor of my love of this totally OMFG awesome show, I now present “Life Lessons Learned from Gossip Girl,” a continuing series.  The first lesson is one I’ve picked up from Blair Waldorf, who (in case you haven’t heard) just  rocks.

Lesson #1 – Poise Counts.

Blair has a lot of problems.  She’s a recovering bulimic;  she’s in love with a date rapist who wears plaid pants; her best friend seems to get everything to go her way.  But no matter what ailments she suffers, Blair never leaves the house without wearing the perfect ensemble to present the perfect front of the perfect life for the world.  She always looks polished, whether it be in her cute plaid skirt and white tights for ice-skating in Central Park with her mom, dad, and her dad’s lover, Roman or a green leaf-print dress while in the Hamptons with a Lord (to make Chuck jealous, of course).  And it’s not only her to-die-for wardrobe – Blair’s curls are always pristinely pulled back with a matching headband and her makeup is perfection.

So I can’t afford Blair’s closet, but I do think there is something to be learned from the way she carries herself.  Blair is a picture of poise and grace.  She takes care to present herself the way she wants the world to see her.  While scandals have beaten her down in the past, she doesn’t remain down.  She lifts herself up and rises to the top again through sheer force of will without getting a hair out of place in the process.  Sure, Blair spends too much time worrying about appearances.  As Serena pointed out, she imagines that she is in a movie about her perfect life and can succumb to denial when things get dicey. But, even though we may not want it to be, it is true that appearances count.   People will judge us by how we look and act.  Blair Cornelia Waldorf is a good reminder thatthere is value in keeping a stiff upper lip (and high-waisted skirts).  Want to be a graceful and dignified individual?  Dress like you are.