It’s January, that time of year when offerings at the cinema get really bad. All of the awards season “quality” pictures have been rolled out already, and we’re stuck with the unappetizing leftovers. Like, week-old cranberry sauce unappetizing. (And not the good cranberry sauce, the gelatin kind that has those can indentations.)
Remember this time last year when everyone was actually looking forward to Cloverfield? Yeah, it’s that time of year again.
January, 2009 is bringing us what looks to be one of the most annoying romantic comedies the world has seen in quite some time (At least since Made of Honor, and don’t even get me started on Made of Honor. It’ll be a whole other entry): Bride Wars. Let’s start with the cast. Kate Hudson … okay, I expect this sort of thing from her. But Anne Hathaway, whyyyyy? You really made me like you with your edgy and poignant performance in Rachel Getting Married, the graceful way you handled your break-up with that sleazy Italian guy, and how funny you were on SNL. Why are you ruining it all by co-starring in Bride Wars? I WANT ANSWERS!
If you haven’t seen the trailer for Bride Wars, the movie seems to be centered around a pair of lifelong best friends, played by Miss Hathaway and Miss Hudson, who both dream of getting married at the Plaza Hotel in New York City. As it turns out, they both book dates at the Plaza, but one of the dates – gasp! – turns out to be double-booked. When the girls find out about this, they turn on each other viciously and wage war on each other with “hilariously” “wacky” tactics. (Anne dyes Kate’s hair blue – laughing yet?)
The thing that really bothers me about Bride Wars – in addition to the fact that it looks Not Funny – is that no true best friends would EVER act like that! I get that it’s supposed to be a spoof of bridezilla-type women, but one assumes these characters are meant to be sympathetic. I have a hard time relating to women who would turn against their best friend over something as shallow as a wedding venue. Sure, I will allow that they likely realize the error of their ways by the end (Oops – SPOILER ALERT!), but seriously, who wants to watch over an hour of these lame shenanigans when the whole situation could be resolved with one of the girls simply RE-SCHEDULING?! It’s sort of insulting, actually, and I realize my vitriol over this film may seem sort of silly, but I just don’t get why it’s apparently so difficult to write romantic comedies with characters that act like normal people. (Which brings me back to Made of Honor because NO ONE IN THE UNIVERSE ACTS LIKE THE CHARACTERS IN THAT MOVIE AAAH I HATE IT SO MUCH. But I digress.)
Anne, I still like you. Kate, bangs are not for everyone.
